Category Archives: Depression

Uncoupled on Valentine’s Day

friends_having_pizzaTomorrow is Valentine’s Day, a day that may have some feeling sad and anxious. There is a lot of hype surrounding this day. The media tells us we should be madly in love and strive towards having the “perfect” relationship like we see on TV commercials and in movies. They show us that perfect mate, with a beautiful face and body, who says the most profound, loving  things. And if that’s not enough, they want us to long for the perfect gift!

Relationships come in all shapes and sizes. For those who are single, remember that your friends and family are also important relationships. They can be the perfect company for a Friday that just happens to also be Valentine’s Day.

Here are some things you can do to make your Valentine’s Day special:

1-  Call some friends of family members and make dinner plans. Celebrate the fact that it’s Friday.

2-  Watch a movie you’ve been dying to see. If you’d rather not be alone, invite someone to watch it with you.

3-  Buy yourself that “perfect” piece of jewelry, flowers, or chocolates. You’ll be sure to get exactly what you want if you buy it yourself.

4-  Buy a single friend flowers or chocolates, you’ll make their day.

5-  Set up a “secret cupid” gift sharing with friends so you all get something special and unexpected on Valentine’s Day.

6-  Volunteer to work with those less fortunate or with animals.

7-  Tell people what you need so they can be there for you.

8-  Pamper yourself or make a plan to pamper yourself so you have something to look forward to.

I invite you to read a fuller version of this article which can be found at http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/life-without-anxiety/201402/single-valentines-day

 

Rapid Resolution Therapy Described

Rapid Resolution Therapy DescribedI invite you to view the following video, given at a TED talk by a woman who beautifully describes how her life was totally changed by Rapid Resolution Therapy.

The life of the presenter, Kristin Rivas, was virtually saved when she met with Dr. Jon Connolly, Ph.D.,  the founder of this technique.  And I know why.  For the past few years I have had extensive training under the tutelage of Dr. Connolly and have been using Rapid Resolution Therapy to help transform the lives of my clients since.

The Holidays are Over, Why am I so Blue?

woman_with_tissue_holding_headIt’s almost the end of January and many people are telling me they’re feeling blue, even depressed.   Unfortunately, this is not uncommon.  Post-holiday blues are a common occurrence.  Here are some of the reasons why:

1-      Our schedules change, often going from being filled with social events in Dec. to being nearly empty in Jan.
2-      Scheduling changes mean we go from being with people to being alone more often.
3-      Fatigue can set in because of travel, lack of sleep, and busy schedules during the holidays.
4-      Some of us may feel disappointment because the holidays weren’t what we had hoped they would be.
5-       If you took time off during the holidays returning to work may have meant having to make up for time off.

The good news is that post-holiday blues are often temporary and short-lived.  Please read my full article on this subject on the Psychology Today website to find out what you can do to help yourself out of the blues.  The article can be found at:  http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/life-without-anxiety/201401/the-holidays-are-over-why-am-i-so-blue

Will I ever fall asleep?

insomniaWhy is sleep so elusive to many of us? Very often sleep difficulties arise when we’re worrying about something, when not feeling well, going through menopause, pregnant, or when worrying about not being about to sleep.

If you’re having trouble sleeping, try the following:

1-      Use your bedroom and bed for sleeping only. Don’t read, watch TV, and/or eat in bed.

2-      Don’t nap during the day.

3-      Plan for 8 hours of sleep and go to sleep at a time which would allow for that.  Going to sleep too early will make it that much for difficult to fall asleep.

4-      Tell yourself that you’re going to bed to rest, don’t make sleep the goal.

5-      If you become anxious because you want to sleep and can’t, get out of bed and do something that will keep you busy and distracted. Go back to bed to rest after an hour.

6-      Place your clock out of sight so you can’t stare at the time.

7-      Limit caffeine, including chocolate to before 3 pm.

8-      Limit alcohol intake.

Doing the above consistently for a week to 10 days should take care of the issue.

Pleasant dreams!

 

Do Upcoming Holiday Gatherings Have You Scared?

Family serving Christmas dinnerWhile commercials, cards, and TV shows all show happy family gatherings, the reality is, many family get-togethers cause tremendous difficulties for a lot of us.  Why is that?

There is a great expectation that holidays will be fun, warm, loving. That family reunions will bring joy to all. But that isn’t always the case. Family gatherings can remind us of who’s no longer present, either due to death, divorce, or distance. This can cause sadness and a feeling of loss and longing.

We tend to act out old family roles when the whole family gets together.  So if you were the “acting out” adolescent, you may find yourself in the acting out role again as an adult. If you had competition with your sibling when a child, you may find that the old competitive spirit is alive and well. Old jealousies may rear their ugly head again. Competiton for parental attention for yourself or your children may cause some difficulty.

Here’s what you can do. Remember, holidays don’t have to bring up all or some of the above. Keep focused on the purpose of the gathering: to eat a meal, exchange gifts, or reunite with family members you haven’t seen in a long time. And focus your attention on those that support you, that have your back. This could be your spouse, children, cousins, etc.  Just because others may try to drag you into old dysfunctional patterns and behaviors, it doesn’t mean you have to follow.

Have a peaceful holiday season.

 

Do you Feel Stuck or Trapped?

Your life is not where you’d like or had hoped it to be. You feel trapped and unable to make changes in either your personal or professional life, or even in both. It’s very frustrating to feel stuck in something when you’d really like to be doing something else or would really like to be with someone else. But are you really stuck or trapped?

Do you feel trapped because change seems too difficult? Maybe you stay in your job because looking for a job in this economy seems too hard or because finding a new job seems impossible. So you spend your energy feeling sad, bored, unfulfilled instead of looking to make a change. Ask yourself what you have to lose by looking? You may be surprised at the answer.

Do you Feel Stuck or Trapped?Sometimes we stay in one place even when we think we’d like to be someplace else as a way of avoiding the problem. For instance, does your marriage feel stale, unfulfilling? Perhaps you daydream about leaving the marriage and finding someone more exciting. Is it possible that your daydreams are keeping you rooted in the problems rather than using the energy to work on the marriage? Maybe you and your spouse need to begin to talk about the problems or see a marriage counselor.

Some people feel trapped because they feel locked into something due to commitments they have made. For instance, staying in a job because the income is one you’ve become dependent on due to a high mortgage or children about to go to college. In this case staying put may actually help you to feel better in the long run.

So look at why you feel trapped and ask yourself what you may be avoiding, afraid of, or waiting for. This may help you get unstuck or help you to feel better about the decision to stay put.

Empty Nest Without Feeling Empty

Congratulations, your son or daughter is ready to leave home. That means you have raised them in such a way that they are independent enough to live on their own. Great job! Perhaps they’re going off to college, perhaps getting married, or perhaps moving into their own place to start a job. They are ready to have you cut the apron strings and let them leave the nest. You’re pretty sure they are ready, but are you?

Empty Nest Without Feeling EmptyAlmost everyone faces this new transition with trepidation. Yes, you’re going to have freedom, perhaps have the house alone all to yourself, or to you and your husband, but at what cost? Will you be lonely? Will you be able to find things to do? Will your child still need you? No wonder you’re scared, sad, anxious. Change is scary. You’re transitioning into the unknown. But this is not a crisis. It’s just a new stage in life, an inevitable change that most of us hope we and our children will reach.

For tips on how to face this stage with strength and optimism, please see the full article on Psychology Today’s website at http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/life-without-anxiety/201107/empty-ne…

Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or you think I can be of some help. I have offices conveniently located in the New York City and Westchester areas.